Love me for me

One of the hardest things in life (for me) is accepting that I really am enough. I don't know when the insecurities technically started other than passive aggressive comments from the ones I grew up loving, but I realize I have the hardest time loving myself. Some days I feel pretty good about my life. I have a good job, my family is healthy and doing well for themselves. Don't get me wrong, life could be sooo much worse. Thank God it's not, but I always wonder how things could have been if I just loved myself a little harder when I was young.

Life has a way of exposing you to things about yourself that you honestly thought were a thing of the past. I have been on this "change the topic before you overthink things and get upset" kick lately and I must say about 8 of my waking hours I think I do ok, but ma gooodness.. when I tell you I go down the rabbit hole there really is no coming back. I will find a small flaw on my face and become fixated on it. I can write a text and someone not respond or not respond the way I expected and I'm in a small anxiety situation (in my heeead). I have thought about getting a therapist for so long that now truly think it's time lol.

I want to love all of me. I'm not getting any younger. Seriously this is a problem to be my age and still have so many issues with... me. I'm pretty sure God did not intend for me to waste so much of my life worrying about things that do not matter. I need to do better.... I really do.